Unhinged Advice: The Chiropractor
Good morning. Time for another unhinged advice submission. This one comes from a crusher who's got kind of an interesting problem. So here goes: So I love my chiropractor, really. He's delightful and genuinely good at his job, but he always needs to touch my ass. The plus side is that at least he tells me I'm pretty. The negative side is when he then goes on to audibly question why I'm still single. (34yr old female here) While I appreciate the compliment, the butt touches and tiny slaps feel kind of unnecessary, but hey, at least I'm single? Um, okay. I'm not really sure there is a plus side to this unless you're into it, I have some ideas, but first and foremost, somebody needs to tell this guy, don't do this at work. You're a medical professional. Report him. Someone, please report him because it sounds to me like maybe you don't mind it that much, but this is really inappropriate behavior. So that aside, there's two different ways you can go about this. 1: if you don't like these advances, if you don't want this attention, here's what I recommend. Report him regardless and before your next appointment, you need to eat whatever really, really upsets your stomach. Like whatever makes you the gasiest, bloatiest babe on the planet, make sure you are fully charged to just let it rip in his face whenever he touches your butt. But that's not the only thing - I want you to download a bunch of Sesame street songs, some kids songs, some of those tunes that play from the ice cream trucks, you know, when they drive around the neighborhood, get that cued up on your phone, lay down on that table while he's getting ready to crack your back and slap your ass. You let that music play those little kid songs, and then you just fart all over him. Okay. So that's if you don't want his advances. Alternatively, if you're kind of into this guy, just ask him on a date. And then while you're on that date (make sure you go somewhere real expensive, real fancy. He pays for all of it.) You tell him, Hey, listen, I enjoy your company. I want to date you, but you could have just asked me out instead of slapping my ass, because that's not cool, dude. Just ask me out. It's not that complicated. So anyway, I hope that helps. Let me know which way you decide to go. Kisses.
Good morning. Time for another unhinged advice submission. This one comes from a crusher who's got kind of an interesting problem. So here goes: So I love my chiropractor, really. He's delightful and genuinely good at his job, but he always needs to touch my ass. The plus side is that at least he tells me I'm pretty. The negative side is when he then goes on to audibly question why I'm still single. (34yr old female here) While I appreciate the compliment, the butt touches and tiny slaps feel kind of unnecessary, but hey, at least I'm single? Um, okay. I'm not really sure there is a plus side to this unless you're into it, I have some ideas, but first and foremost, somebody needs to tell this guy, don't do this at work. You're a medical professional. Report him. Someone, please report him because it sounds to me like maybe you don't mind it that much, but this is really inappropriate behavior. So that aside, there's two different ways you can go about this. 1: if you don't like these advances, if you don't want this attention, here's what I recommend. Report him regardless and before your next appointment, you need to eat whatever really, really upsets your stomach. Like whatever makes you the gasiest, bloatiest babe on the planet, make sure you are fully charged to just let it rip in his face whenever he touches your butt. But that's not the only thing - I want you to download a bunch of Sesame street songs, some kids songs, some of those tunes that play from the ice cream trucks, you know, when they drive around the neighborhood, get that cued up on your phone, lay down on that table while he's getting ready to crack your back and slap your ass. You let that music play those little kid songs, and then you just fart all over him. Okay. So that's if you don't want his advances. Alternatively, if you're kind of into this guy, just ask him on a date. And then while you're on that date (make sure you go somewhere real expensive, real fancy. He pays for all of it.) You tell him, Hey, listen, I enjoy your company. I want to date you, but you could have just asked me out instead of slapping my ass, because that's not cool, dude. Just ask me out. It's not that complicated. So anyway, I hope that helps. Let me know which way you decide to go. Kisses.
“So I love my chiropractor - really, he’s delightful and genuinely good at his job - but he just always needs to touch my ass. The plus side is that at least he tells me I’m pretty. The negative side is when he then goes on to audibly question why I’m still single (34, F here). While I appreciate the compliment, the butt touches and tiny slaps feel kinda unnecessary, but hey, at least I’m single?”
— “Crack it and Smack It”
You can learn about filing a complaint here: https://www.verywellhealth.com/complain-about-a-doctor-or-other-healthcare-provider-2614928
